By Dr. Tina Koopersmith
In my continuing quest to give my patients total wellness, last year I was fortunate to study with the SWA, the School of Womanly Arts, run by Mama Gena, and rediscover the power and beauty of the feminine. We humans are all a combination of the masculine and the feminine (labeled Yang and Yin in Ancient Chinese culture—see image for attributes.) For centuries, our cultures associated success and attainment with the masculine and held feminine attributes in much less regard. Our goal, however, should not be one over the other but rather a blending of the masculine and the feminine. A harmony – a balance of the yin and the yang – is essential to achieve total wellness, and this of course can enable fertility, too.
Ever since I was a little girl, I was a tomboy. My sister is eight years older than I am and my brother six years older. I was either trying to stand out or perhaps be the second son my Dad never had. Or perhaps I was just trying to conform to our centuries-old male-dominated society. Either way, it has been easy to develop my masculine traits in my otherwise feminine body. And yet, at my course last year, I learned tools to find my inner feminine and balance my inner self.
The essence of SWA is women standing tall, elevating themselves to their rightful place in the world, honoring themselves, and taking care of our special needs first and always. And this does not mean to the detriment of men; in fact, men benefit when we women stand in our power and beauty!
In today’s crazy society, we run, run, run, hustle-bustle 24/7/365. As we know all too well, we women are [typically] tasked with running our household, cooking the food, minding the children, pleasuring our partner, and frequently also holding down a job too. To maximize efficiency and time, we often neglect taking care of ourselves and even sleeping. Society traditionally has enabled a ‘man’s world,’ and when it’s ‘time’ to have a baby, the focus yet again shifts to the cherub.
No wonder it’s so arduous for us to shine in our beauty, our special countenance and light. Let alone conceive a child. So how are we expected to water our feminine seeds.
We need to take time for ourselves.
SELF CARE FIRST — It is crucial to take care of ourselves first. We have been taught that self care is selfish and we have been taught that selfishness is a bad trait. But would you run a car endlessly without stopping to fill up for gas. No! We wouldn’t reach our destination and that would destroy the transmission and possibly burn out the engine. If we stop and fill our tank, we will have more to give. We will be a better self, a better partner, a better parent, a better employee, a better daughter, and a better friend.
INTUITION—Quiet down so we can hear ourselves think and feel. Take time out of your day to stop rushing, to sit and think or to sit and meditate. You will connect with your inner authentic self. Listen to your ‘gut instinct.’ It will help guide you. You know how when you are stuck on a problem and you leave it alone, often by morning a solution has appeared. It is our body and subconscious mind working for us.
DANCE/MOVE. Our bodies were meant to move. We were hunter-gatherers for centuries, roaming this planet. We have two feet that are supposed to keep us moving forward. Sitting all day is not good for us and emotions get stuck. And when that happens, the body keeps the score and illnesses occur. We all know that when we feel good, it is easy to listen to happy music and dance. But I want to tell you two things. The flipside is also true, listening and dancing to happy music may help us feel good. And, we can also use music and dancing to move our darker emotions through and out of our bodies as well. To learn more about dance therapy, click here.
SUPPORT among women. True friendship between women is essential. We need confidants who will hold space for us to express our true emotions and empower us to be who we are destined to be. We need friends to accept us as we are and as we aspire to be and not try to change us to fit some societal mold. If we have children, we all know it takes a village to raise them, and we all need to pitch in and help each other. In previous societies, we lived close together and the women joined together to mind the children, cook the meals, gather the food, make the clothes, and all in all keep society functioning. We are still positioned to govern our society the way we think it should run, but we will only be able to do this by working as a team. There is no ‘I’ in team.
I encourage all women to tune in to their complete self, the masculine and the feminine, discover and embrace their full range of emotions and abilities, and join with their sisters and their male friends to find wholeness, completeness, and optimal wellness.
At West Coast Women’s Reproductive Center, we strive to provide women with total wellness and help them with fertility. To learn more or schedule a consultation, email us at email@example.com, call us at 818-986-1648, or attend a class: find our schedule at WomensReproduction.com.
Dr. Tina Koopersmith is a board-certified OBGYN and REI as well as a board-certified practitioner of Integrative Medicine. For over 25 years, she has served the women of San Fernando Valley and beyond, helping women achieve total wellness and fertility. She is a graduate of Duke University Medical School and specializes in empowering and honoring women.